The scene in the Barbie movie that plucked at my heartstrings and that I can’t stop thinking about is a blip of dialog on a park bench.
Barbie has just been cut down by a teenage girl, and—feeling hurt and sad—she sits next to an old woman. The old woman is wearing a dark green cardigan, and a thin headband is keeping her snowy white hair in place. Barbie turns to her and gently says:
“You’re beautiful.”
And how does the old woman reply?
“I know.”
Then Barbie is laughing through her tears and I’m ready to stand up in the theater to whoop and holler THAT’S RIGHT!! (but I didn’t.)
Living confident and free
This brief moment in the movie is so poignant. Barbie represents the ideal beautiful woman, according to white American standards: her skin is youthful, her hair on point, her makeup impeccable, her body thin and curvy in all the right places. By contrast, the older woman has a plump middle, deep wrinkles, and age spots … the future of us all should we live long enough.
But the confidence with which the old woman claims her beauty is what we should all aspire to, despite what the 92-billion-dollar beauty industry would have us believe.
Earlier this year, I sat in a small circle of ladies at our church’s women’s retreat. We were discussing our spiritual journey and one of the small group questions asked where we felt we were on our overall life journey. An older lady replied that she was very happy with her life stage: she didn’t care anymore what others thought of her and that made her feel free to be who she really was.
I asked her how old she was and when she happily told me, I did some mental math. How many birthdays until I could be as confident and free as she was?
But that’s silly. There is no magical age at which you come to accept and embrace all your weaknesses, flaws, strengths, gifts, and power—when your self-worth doesn’t depend on whatever everyone thinks of you.
After I made my mental calculations, I realized I didn’t want to wait that long even if there was a magical age. I wanted that kind of freedom and confidence now!
When Jesus crashes the Barbie party
All of scripture and the life of Jesus points to this truth: we are deeply loved by God. Henri Nouwen writes:
“That’s the truth spoken by the voice that says, “You are my Beloved.”
Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: “I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths on the earth and knit you together in your mother’s womb. I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. You know me as your own as I know you as my own. You belong to me.”
Henri Nouwen, Life of the beloved
I’m convinced that if we internalized God’s love for us, we would live like it was true. I wish it were as easy and instant as this. But, as I learned this year when I gave up makeup for Lent, learning to live as God’s Beloved is a process.
Many of us Christians can only focus on our unworthiness, wanting to prove and to perform for God and living like we need to earn a spot in God’s kingdom. Our good works are carried out from a sense of duty rather than a sense of identity. We end up serving God to be loved instead of from an overflow of God’s love in our lives.
To live as God’s Beloved, we must start with accepting God’s love for us.
“Not accepting [God’s] love is like a very stupid existential practical joke on yourself,” writes Joy Marie Clarkson.*
The park bench scene in the Barbie movie has captured my imagination:
What would change about my life if I truly accepted and internalized God’s love for me?
What would matter and what wouldn’t?
How would I treat myself and others around me?
I’m doing my best, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to live into the answers.
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*From Aggressively Happy, page 245.
**Featured Photo from Canva
Sarah K. Butterfield 