A young and sculpted lifeguard pulled up in his jeep, parking right between a group of us moms and our kids playing in the waves.
It was a particularly gorgeous Thursday afternoon, and a bunch of boy-moms and I had taken advantage of the minimum school day to head to the nearest beach, boogie boards in tow. An hour into our playdate, the lifeguard pointed to where a rip current had been spotted and cautioned us to tell our kids to stay to the right and closer to the shore.
We rose together to holler at our boys, but our voices had to compete with the roar of the waves. We waded into the water and made the universal gesture for COME HERE with our arms. When they finally took note and came closer, we relayed the lifeguard’s instructions.
After the boys course-corrected to the right and returned to the waves, the other moms and I kept our feet in the ocean, wiggled our toes in the wet sand and commented on the temperature of the water. We knew we were lucky to live minutes from the beach and someone said as much when we were standing there.
When we turned our backs on the glittering waves to head back to our chairs, my friend pointed to a mound on the wet sand and breathed out a shocked “ew-oh-my-gosh!” We looked and saw a large, dead rat, its gray body beginning to bloat with decay.
As the boys came up to the shore to dig their epic holes, they were met with a flurry of warnings to stay away from the rat! This, of course, resulted in curious investigation on the kids’ part, at which point the moms’ warnings turned to don’t touch it! The rest of the afternoon was punctuated by periodic reminders to steer clear of the rat, and a collective sigh of relief when the boys tired of digging and returned to their boogie boards.
What is stealing your focus?
A thought occurred to me later, much like a seashell emerging from the wet sand, revealed by the battering of ocean waves: as soon as we found the rat, our attention shifted from the beauty of the glittering horizon to the blight just beyond our feet.
The dead and ugly thing stole our focus, and it became harder to enjoy the gifts of the day. Our human experience definitely doesn’t look like an endless string of perfect beach days, but we’ve all been given gifts. Whether we’re in a season of good health, strong family ties, close friends, a meaningful job, a solid marriage, or exciting possibilities, I know we can take a look around at the landscape of our own lives and feel thankful for what sparkles in the sun.
So often, though, our attention is directed toward the glaring problems that cast a shadow over our days, and if we’re not careful, that’s all we’ll see. My friends and I let worry over a dead rat punctuate a good time when we easily could have taken care of the problem. We had large shovels at our disposal and giant metal trash cans nearby. It would have been a gross job, but it would have restored our perfect beach day.
I recognize that not every problem has a solution when it comes to our lives: our personal math doesn’t always add up. There is great wisdom and freedom in recognizing when we have agency and when, like the serenity prayer, we must “accept the things we cannot change.”
Redirect and bless
I guess my challenge to us all this holiday season is to redirect our attention toward the good in our lives with an eye for cultivating and expanding that good into the lives of others. As author Shannan Martin says:
“Every choice to slow down and attend to what is with our whole selves is an invitation to belong more fully and engage more deeply with this life we’ve been given.”1
So take a look around the landscape of your life. Where are you finding beauty, truth, and goodness? What needs to be swept out and scrubbed clean? What needs a white flag of surrender? What neighbor needs your help? What needs to be celebrated?
This holiday season, let’s keep our eyes fixed on the beauty, truth, and goodness that surround us, and be intentional with passing along the blessings along with the mashed potatoes.
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Sarah K. Butterfield 